Monday, September 23, 2013

Old dogs new tricks!!!

That's me! The momma of the "terror squad" and I have a confession to make, new things terrify me! I am a creature of habit and I don't take well to change... how can she have three kids then... hey I didn't actually say I knew what I was doing... I just try my best and hope to hell I keep them alive LOL (JOKE PEOPLE!!!!) But seriously I do fear change a lot and a lot of things scare me. Though for the most part I can push my fear aside and do what I have to do... there has been one thing in my life that I have not been able to conquer!!!

Living in New York I really didn't have to learn to drive, I mean it was not a necessity, everywhere I need to go I just got on a train or bus and did the damn thing!!! That was one of the great things about living in the city everything was just a train ride away!!! Which was fine with me because I have a fear of driving. I just never saw the need in it!

Fast forward to us moving, now I am 33 years old with a learner's permit that I have done nothing with and now I need to learn to drive or wait for an hour or more on a bus that will take almost two hours to get to my destination!!! UMM... no thank you!!! So I put on my big girl panties and I had the hubby start teaching me to drive and guess what I learned about myself!!! This old dog can learn new tricks!!!


I still need some more lessons and my marriage has not been broken from my husband teaching me and I got over my fear. I still  have a little bit of fear but I think that is now what is driving me. I have let this fear hold me back for far to long! Now I know this sounds cliche and all that jazz but as I drove to Walmart and parked the car I had a deeper sense of freedom and independence! It is going to be awesome to not have to wait for someone to take me anywhere, if I want to go I can go... and here where trains and buses are far and few between this is a necessity that is necessary!!! I got an adrenaline rush as for the first time in a long time I got over one of my many fears!!!  A few more lessons and then I will attempt to take my driving test!! I feel like I am 16, (is that when normal people take their driving test???) Anyway its never too late to try something new and step out of your comfort zone. 

Moving out of state for the first time and being somewhere completely new to me has made me face many of my fears, insecurities and comfort zones. I have been forced to step out of my box that I had spent many of years perfecting! And guess what I found out??? It's so much fun to try new things so what if you fail, you learn something new no matter what! Maybe I am slow in learning this lesson but hey... this time of my life I am exploring and learning so many new things about myself that if we had not moved maybe I would not have learned because this move forced so many things on me! It's scary, its fun, it's overwhelming, it's all these emotions all in one and I wouldn't change it for the world! I feel like moving has given me a reason, to try new things, get out there and meet new people and rediscover myself and in the process I am learning new things about myself or things that were there but really didn't rise up to the surface!

This post is so much more than just me learning to drive, but just getting behind the wheel and actually doing it is so big for me! It symbolizes so much more! I feel like I can try new things with out fear and just open my mind to what can possible go right instead of    dwelling on all that can go wrong! So watch out for me on the big open highways!!! LOL I may just chill in the slow lane for a while but I will get there soon enough!


Well its been a while, we have been adjusting to our new lives and so far so good! As we have been adjusting there have been some great milestone in our household! Both my little ladies are in school! Its crazy when did they become big girls, when did this happen!!! That was my thought when Layla got ready for her first day of Kindergarten! I mean she is so big already and so smart and caring and all those good things and it scared me to death that she was off to a big elementary school with all these other kids! As a parent or at least for me all I want is to keep them safe with me and as we dropped her off in the car port! I couldn't wait to hear all about her day in her new big school. She was so excited and that eased my mind that she was where she was mean to be.

Now Ava, was another story... She cried so much about going to school that one day she threw up all over herself and I had to bring her back. She starts to cry even before we get in the car and some days she cries all day! Finally we told her she could bring her toy Skully (the parrot from "Jake & the Neverland Pirates) with her so that she can show him how cool school is and guess what she finally had a day without tears!!! And I had a day at work relaxed with my mind at ease. I tears at your heart when your child is unhappy but at the same time I can't just take her out of her preschool. She has to learn that this is something that everyone goes through. I hope she has more days like today and I hope that she starts to enjoy this time apart from us and with kids her own age!

Then there is Spawn 3!!! OMG you guys I am so in love with him its not even funny! I was so heart broken when I finally started working and had to leave him home! From all three of my lovely children he is the one that I have spent the most time with! I still spend most of my day wondering what he is doing! I know I am a bit dramatic but its the truth!!! He will be six months in about a week or so and he is just a happy, funny baby!!! 

2 out of 3 kids are in school and out the house for most of the week. Its crazy I mean I know they are supposed to grow up and you are supposed to be happy when they reach each milestone no matter how big or small, but some where deep inside me just wants to keep them small and by my side at all times. I know that's not possible or even logical but it's what this mom thinks about from time to time.

Here is to many more first for my family and hopefully I am up for the ride and not a ball of nerves!! Though the nerves are what makes it all the more fun!!!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Shit My Husband Says Part #4

Me: I can't believe that 10 years ago today we got married, how time flies, its crazy, how have you been able to put up with me?

My dude: I ask myself that everyday, I must be a saint!!!!

OK, so maybe I walked into that one... but really that is what he said!!!! This past weekend the dude and I had our 10 year anniversary as Mr. and Mrs. Dude!!! LOL 

We really don't do anniversary celebrations or exchange gifts, we do acknowledge the day but that is about it. But this one was different not just cause it was our 10 year one but because of all the new things happening in our lives it feels like these next 10 years are going to be filled with so many new things. We recently moved to a new state, we quit our jobs, up rooted our little family and set forth on starting a new. So far so good. Everyone seems to be adjusting well. It's weird I never really saw myself moving to another state, always considered myself the quintessential Bronx girl, but in reality I had never really stepped out my comfort zone, I never really just took a leap and tried something new. Now of course when I decide to jump I choose the biggest cliff but hey why not!! We have a great support system here and everything seems to be working out!

Back to my dude! Its crazy 10 years ago, we decided to make the commitment and get married, we were so young 23 and 24. We had no clue that within 10 years of marriage we would have 3 kids and an even stronger bond. It's crazy to think back at how naive we were. Next year we make a total of 20 years together as a couple, I often get asked for marriage or relationship advice. I hate giving advice because every relationship is different but what I do always tell people is that no matter what kind of relationship you are in, to make it work, it means you have to work at it. EVERYDAY! It's hard work! Nothing to be taken lightly. You have to make the conscience decision everyday to make your relationship work. It's a living thing apart from you and your partner and you have to nurture it. The dude and I have been through our share of up and downs, but at the end of the day we both want the same things, we both want to make this thing we have work, so we work towards that one main goal and it been working so far! (now that is enough of me acting like I am Dr. Phil)

So last Saturday, we got the night off by our in-laws as they stayed home and babysat our Terror squad and we went out exploring our new town. We went to the mall and did a little shopping and then we went out and had dinner. Kind of weird to have a meal that you don't have to share with a 5 or 3 year old, but it was nice to go out and be just a couple again. We promised to try and do that more often. We tend to forget that we need our time to ourselves, with three small children, they kind of monopolize our time. But our relationship needs more mommy and daddy alone time!!!

I have to say, and it's not just cause he may read this when I am done, but I think when it comes to husbands, I didn't do so bad in that department. I mean when you find a man that is so sure of his manhood that he can carry all your bags through the mall while you shop and helps you pick out clothes I think you got as they say "Winner, Winner, chicken dinner"  

That's my dude!!!! I can't wait to see what the next 10 years have in store for us. It's been a great first 10. We make a great team. There is no one else I would have chosen to take this journey with. He has truly made it interesting and most importantly my dude makes me laugh!!! So here is to the next 10 years filled with joy and especially with laughter!!! I love me some dude!!! LOL